we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Actions speak louder than pants.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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