I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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