well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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