Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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