In the future we'll all be gay
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
