You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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