By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
