why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
