redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
