dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
