I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
