it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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