Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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