I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
