I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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