So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
