He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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