Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
