i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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