she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize