Kiss
Puke
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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