I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
