also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize