Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
