at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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