i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
