theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
