Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
