3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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