I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
