I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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