it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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