i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
