wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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