I got chris browned last night
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
