My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
