These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
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You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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