Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
