sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
