is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
