big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
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he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
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You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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