I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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