Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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