Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I will be naked everywhere
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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