I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
