Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
