she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
