There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
