We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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