Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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