Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Hippo gnu deer
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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