thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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