my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
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