hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
