you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
