At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
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I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
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I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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