dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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