He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
