he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
