It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
