the condom got lost in my hair
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
