so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
