The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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