Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
