I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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