Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
