Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
