Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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