actually, I'm a sock model
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it